Whew. I’m 1-2 weeks out from starting STIMS. Each day that passes I get a little more nervous and anxious. It’s hard trusting a body that has failed you time and time again. It’s hard trusting a doctor that actually does care after several that haven’t. It’s hard to trust a process that isn’t guaranteed to work. I’m struggling with lots of mixed emotions this week. As I sit in the parking lot of my clinic I’m a ball of nerves and let me tell ya… Google isn’t helping. I’ve been trying to educate myself and ask all the questions I can to feel the most at peace with each decision I make. One thing I love about my doctor is even if I don’t go with her recommendation and want more testing for my own sanity, she doesn’t make me feel bad about it. Nothing about this journey is easy. I’m at a constant battle with my brain trying to quiet all the negative thoughts. PTSD is a bitch. But for now, I’ll hang on to the hope that is keeping me going, wait for my nurses call on next steps and hope my body is doing what it’s supposed to. I’m trying to turn those doubts and negative thoughts into “what if it DOES work out?” It’s hard to change your mindset when your experiences have shown you the worst. I’m grateful to have so many people supporting me on this journey and helping me get through it. I’m just so ready to be on the other side of infertility. 💛
Site Title 